Beloved
by June Amemiya
Summary: A story in which Ryoma expresses his real feelings about his sex relationship with Atobe. Oneshot. Contains some OOC and lemon :D


A/N: While thinking of the song "Beloved" by Yiruma, this story just came up to me. I had to write it. Pardon me for the slight OOCness in it. In this story, Ryoma tells some of his inner feelings about his relationship with Keigo. I decided to depict Ryoma as a bit of a weak guy because he probably is weak in the inside. Anyway, enjoy! By the way, it's best to listen to "Beloved" as you're reading this story.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis, or any of their characters, or this song. I do own the plot of this story though._

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**Beloved**

_I'm not strong._ Those were the words I wanted to tell him, but I knew I couldn't. He only loved me because he thinks I'm strong, that I can endure anything, that he can do whatever he wants to me and I'll still be able to endure it. I try to make it seem like it didn't hurt, but it hurt a lot. I had to continue showing him my fake smirk, continue showing him that he could carry on what he was doing, no matter how much it hurt.

Every night, when he came home, he'd reek of the smell of women and alcohol. He'd come to me, grab my arms, and throw me down onto his bed. He'd rip my clothes, suck my skin, leaving love bites everywhere. The love bites didn't have any loving feelings with them though. He continues going down, holding tightly onto my thighs.

He squeezes my manhood so tightly, making me feel pleasured. He licks it, drinks its juice, and plays with it. It really does feel pleasurable, but just before I become too intoxicated with this pleasure, I smell the fragrance of perfume worn by many women. A slight tear falls, but he doesn't notice.

_One finger in. Two fingers in. Three fingers in. A whole hand in._ It feels so good, making me forget the smell of other women. I want to climax, but he doesn't let me. He pulls out his lovely charm and sticks it in me. We're connected, only physically though. He grinds it hard and I move my hips and call out his name to pleasure him back. I hold on to him; I want his heart and soul, not just his body.

We climax together. This happens every damn night. The next morning, I wouldn't find him with me though. I'd shed a few tears and then move on, knowing he'd never notice this loveless sex didn't feel right. I couldn't blame him though, since it was me who had let this prolong. We started out only as sex mates, but I was the only one who became too attached to him and fell in love. He thinks of it as a game, but I think of it as a way to connect with him even more, though my futile attempts leave me in vain.

I decide to tell him my real feelings.

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**1 week later**

"Keigo, can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I love you."

He drops his glass of water and stares at me. His eyes depict an unknown emotion. I knew what was going to happen. I knew our little sex game was going to end. I knew I was going to be rejected, but damn, I wasn't prepared.

There was a breath of silence. My eyes felt watery. I tried to cover my face, for I didn't want him to see my real emotions. I didn't want him to see me as not as strong as he thought I was. Fuck, how am I supposed to deal with this? We were only supposed to remain as sex mates. I was going over the borderline.

As I try to walk away from him, he grabs my shoulder. He whispers in my ears, "My dear, I love you too. Why did you never tell me this before?"

My eyes felt heavy with water. Tears of joy flow down my cheeks. He embraces me and kisses me with affection. I've never felt so happy before. I face him, wanting to tell him more of my feelings.

"Keigo?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm not that strong. I don't like it when you sleep with other women before you sleep with me. It hurt a lot when you fucked me all night after screwing around with other women."

"I know. I never slept with anybody except you though. Maybe the countless gatherings I have to attend to every night might've convinced you of that. Sorry, my beloved. I love you."

This time, it was my turn to look at him with a speechless face. He smirks at me and showers me with more kisses. I still have many years to ago, but I hope I can share them every day with him.

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_Love starts with expressing your feelings. _


End file.
